The Fforde Affair

Today I met Jasper Fforde, author of The Eyre Affair, The Fourth Bear, Shades of Grey, etc.

Although the last time I met a famous person (Henry Winkler, AKA Fonzi) I felt brave enough to give him a copy of my book, this time I did not feel cool enough, and I did not feel that the books I have published so far were the kind of book I would want Jasper Fforde to know that I've written. Call me silly, but I wished I could have handed him a shiny copy of one of my darling, as-of-yet-unwritten books that are going to be best sellers.

Mr. Fforde was very nice. Very smiley and congenial.

As I brought with me a paperback copy of Something Rotton (haven't read it yet!) and recently purchased paperback copy of First Among Sequels, I felt the need to explain why I was not hugging his new hardback Shades of Grey close to my heart.

"I'm a little behind on your books," I said.

"Oh, have you just recently discovered my writing?"

Well, no. I explained how my friend from Scotland (Jeff!) sent me the first Thursday Next book a few years ago, but the reason I wasn't buying his newest one was becasue I'm a starving writer myself.

He said, "Really?" all smiley, and thought that was great. I did not offer any explanations as to what I had or had not written, published, or been paid for. I felt too nervous.

So then he said something like, "Well, perhaps you should steal it. I suppose I shouldn't tell you that. But years from now you could write about how you were so poor that you had to steal one of my books from Waterstones, and how you were arrested for it and spent time in prison. It would make a good chapter in a book."

Then I told him that my only gripe with him was that he had gotten to his ideas before I had. He said that that happens to him as well, with other writers. He said it can be annoying when someone takes a fairly simple idea that a lot of people have had and makes it their own. It was nice to know that the big guys have this frustration as well.

I was tempted to tell him about my sister Page's and my hash stories which are pretty much as close to being as cool as his books as anything else ever has been, but I decided that as these are not yet shiny, published-by-Harper-Collins, latest and greatest hardbacks, unaffordable-to-starving-writers--I left it. (Besides, I didn't want him to steal the ideas!)

That was prety much it. I didn't want to stand there with my mouth hanging open trying to think of anything else to say, so I left it at that. I said thank you, and that it was nice to meet him, he affirmed, and I walked out, cuddling my two signed copies and despite physically sensing the metaphorical kick-on-the-backside, which of course meant: Thou shalt ride on this high and be encouraged that thou canst be just as rockin' awesome, I felt great. :)